Happy Solstice Everyone
In what could produce ripples through the national educational system, voters in Maine have ousted over 2,000 years of educational doctrine. In a vote of no-confidence, locals have voted out the Druid majority from local school boards. In an overwhelming vote, the communities of Samhain and Cuithe have decided that the time has come to end the Druidian stronghold over their communities.
These communities as well as others scattered across the northeastern seaboard have seen a rapid decrease in Druidian representation. Starting with the defeat of 237 time elected mayor Gaelen the Round of Bath, the Druidian influence has taken a dramatic downturn. “We were simply looking for a different, more enlightened approach to education” said Pierre DeMarco, head of the Samhain Parent Teacher Association.
Under the Druidian school system, students were forced to learn topics like metallurgy, herpetology, stonemasonry and astrology. Senior Douglas Young believed the Druid curriculum was a valuable addition to his core classes. “I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like we killed dogs or anything.” The use of canines for incantations was replaced by felines in the late 1720’s.
The news could not have come at a worse time for the Druid community. “We’re all pretty tired from the Solstice Ceremony and concert and then we get this news. Everyone is a bit disoriented by these turn of events”, said Nigel Tufnel, founder of the band Spinal Tap and Northern 35th Level Druid. When asked about the future for the Druids in Maine education, Tufnel added, “We’ll just have to see how the bones fall but we are not ruling out litigation.”